There’s something very meaningful about writing the wedding vows of thousands of brides and grooms before you. But if you aren’t constrained for religious reasons to stick with standard vows, we strongly suggest you take a crack at your own.
We can’t say this enough: Start early! Don’t leave writing your vows until the day before. You’ll be much too nervous, excited, and rattled to give them the time and thought they deserve.
Give yourselves at least a month or two, or work on your vows in that pocket of time after you’ve set up all your major wedding vendors and before you have to start thinking about details. Writing your vows should be done in a relaxed, not rushed, frame of mind. Here are some tips on the process:
▪ Before you begin, talk about what marriage means to each of you. Discuss what you expect from each other and the relationship; how you each define words like respect, cherish, love, support, commit, and promise, and how you would prioritize those things; and how you envision yourselves growing older together. Not only will this help you to focus on what kind of vows you want to write—it’s good for you! Use your smartphone to record video of your own mini interviews with each other on these topics for inspiration later.
▪ Your vows can be clever and light, but they should acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment you’re about to make. If it’s okay with your officiant, it’s fine to throw in a humorous comment—“I promise to love you, adore you, and let you watch Monday night football”—but don’t make the whole thing a joke. Even if you can take it, your audience might be weirded out.
▪ Don’t make your vows so personal that they’re cryptic—or embarrassing! You’ve invited your family and friends to witness your vows in order to make your bond public, so be sure everyone feels included in the moment.
▪ Don’t make your vows too long. While they are the most important element of your ceremony, that doesn’t mean they should go on for hours. Stick to three to five minutes and save some thoughts for toasting at the reception—and for the wedding night. Your vows should get at the heart of what marrying this person means to you; pick the most important points and make them well.
▪ Ask your officiant if he or she will want to approve your vows before the big day. If you’re having a religious ceremony, the officiant most definitely will. She or he may raise faith-based questions—or even objections to some of your wording—but may also contribute interesting thoughts or quotes for you to consider.
▪ Have a final version at least two days before your wedding. Practice out loud. These are words meant to be heard by an audience, so be sure they sound good when spoken. Avoid tongue twisters and watch out for superlong sentences; you don’t want to get out of breath.
▪ If you plan to read your vows from a tablet or smartphone, make sure there’s service where you’ll be or use an offline notebook.
This How to Write Wedding Vows article is taken from :
The Knot Guide to Wedding Vows - Carley Roney
