“What’s the harm in flirting?” I’ve been asked
this, as I am sure you have too. Remember what
your opinion was at the time? Whatever opinion
you held, I can bet it has waxed and waned over
time, lending to you its appeal or disgust based
on what your relationship status was at the time.
Flirting is challenging,
adventurous and enjoyable…
for some. For others, flirting
is annoying and disrespectful.
Just like there are two sides to every
coin, the same holds true for flirting.
Let’s take a look at the good and
the bad (and sometimes the ugly!)
of flirting. Harmful or not – you
decide!
Couples…Therapy?
There’s no harm in flirting…unless
you are in a relationship! Or,
could it be that flirting is actually
therapeutic for couples? Couples
who are still experiencing the dating
scene and early stages of their
relationship might see flirting as
an energizing and playful exercise.
They know that flirting is not going
to lead to anything more than just
that –flirting. They know who they
are going home with or who they
are going home to at the end of the
night.
Flirting releases an ego satisfaction,
and who doesn’t want to feel
desired?
“Just flirting” can be fine, but make
sure that you and your honey have
boundaries if you are willing to
accept this type of behavior in your
relationship. Jealousy has a way of
rearing its’ ugly head when we get
an up close and personal visual of
our significant other exercising their
skills. Relationships and the trust
they require can easily take a turn
for the worse if ground rules are
not established from the beginning
of the relationship. Consider talking
about flirting with your honey; you
might end up flirting with each
other!
For Better or For Worse
Married couples probably have the
hardest time reconciling flirtatious
behavior because it can be so easily
misinterpreted. These days, couples
are ready to divorce over someone
making too much eye contact with
the opposite sex, and flirting is no
exception to this extremity!
Married couples who flirt can
inadvertently turn flirting into
something more than just innocent
flattery. Flirtatious behavior can
easily lead to misinterpretation and
can damage the marriage by resulting
in progressive flirting and eventually
infidelity. Flirting, to the extent
that it leads to the demise of your
marriage, should give you thought to
pause. If you are married and want
to participate in flirting, just be sure
to do it with your spouse!
Getting What You Want
My personal opinion is that flirting
when you are married can only
lead to disaster. However, there
is one benefit I can think of that is
favorable to the individual rather
than the couple, if the situation is
handled properly. As we go through
our daily routines of going to work
and running errands, we naturally
interact with other people.
We recognize the need that we
sometimes need to manipulate
situations to increase favor or bias
to achieve a desired result. Flattery
is most often used as a means to
an end. Flattery naturally leads to
favoritism. Make somebody feel
good about them self as a result of
flirty-flattery, and get what you want
at the same time; just make sure
that’s where the flirty-flattery stops.
Keep in mind that this type of flirtyflattery
can be risky. Some people
will recognize this as manipulation,
and it just might end up having
the exact opposite effect that you
intended!
DANGER, DANGER!
Though flirting is fun, danger looms
on its’ horizon. Allowing ongoing
flirting can hinder what was once an
innocent friendship, or even damage
relationships with co-workers.
Harmful rumors — or even charges
of sexual harassment and job loss —
can result if you flirt with the ‘wrong’
person, even without intent of sex.
Remember, being friendly and
smiling at others is simply being
kind and courteous. Batting
eyelashes and winking are a step
above and are seen as indicators of
flirting. Don’t be afraid to exercise
your flirting skills, especially if
you are single; and if you are in
a relationship, keep in mind that
flirting should be reserved for your
significant other or spouse.
